Isn’t it unusual how onerous it’s to answer a praise?
We squirm and deflect and awkwardly shuffle our ft within the face of such overt niceness.
Social nervousness, burnout, and social media facades can cripple our shallowness, so we don’t know easy methods to genuinely settle for a praise.
Regardless of all of the analysis exhibiting constructive suggestions can hold workers (and all of us) extra motivated and assist our psychological well being, our mind nonetheless has this nagging behavior of shutting down after we are given constructive reinforcement.
For just some moments, let’s quiet our inside critics and learn to reply to compliments with poise and confidence.
How Do You Settle for a Praise?
Studying what to say when somebody compliments you is sort of a battle of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
Coming in too scorching with ego will be cringy whereas coming in too chilly and dismissive could make the opposite particular person really feel awkward.
You need to discover the “good” technique to settle for a praise.
- Maintain It Easy: When doubtful, say much less. Merely provide a honest “Thank You,” and depart it at that. Resist the urge to speak your self out of the praise.
- Be Gracious: In case you sorely want that flatter, let the particular person know the way appreciated it’s. You’re giving your personal type of constructive reinforcement to the praise giver.
- Settle for the Oscar: When Hollywood’s best get an Oscar on the elaborate ceremony, you’ll discover they offer credit score the place it’s due. Mimic that by expressing how a lot others assist your path to success.
- Don’t Cease It: Let the particular person specific their ideas with out interrupting or shutting them down, regardless of how embarrassed you would possibly really feel. You’ll observe grace and self-awareness by doing so, giving a double profit to the praise.
Even with backhanded compliments, simply dismiss them with out emotion to keep away from letting them know they’ve energy over your feelings.
Easy methods to Reply to a Praise: 13 Gracious Methods with Examples
Main with grace is probably the most essential rule when somebody provides you a praise. Since many compliments come unexpectedly, it helps to have a number of baseline acceptance traces to assist thrust back incorrect responses.
1. Be Sincere
Even when a praise catches you off guard whereas your face is flushing and your coronary heart price is pounding, it’s okay to let somebody understand it was sudden however appreciated.
Praise: “Glad I caught you in your method out the door. You rocked that presentation right now. Nice work!”
Mistaken: Awkward silence when you fidget. “Oh, um, thanks; I imply, I tousled web page three, and PowerPoint wasn’t taking part in movies, and uh, however I can do higher.”
Proper: Take a deep breath to collect your ideas. “You caught me off guard with that one, and I’m not the most effective at accepting compliments, however it’s a lot appreciated.”
2. Be Variety (To Your self)
Celebrity Keanu Reeves was famously supplied a praise the place he was informed how everybody laments he’s such a pleasant man.
Keanu stirred in his seat, mumbling, “That’s ridiculous,” and added with agitation, “I imply, it’s good to listen to, but it surely’s not true.” However it’s so true of him.
Praise: “Your organizational abilities are so spectacular. I might be taught rather a lot from you.”
Mistaken: “Are you loopy? I’m a scorching mess and might’t even manage dinner. Thanks, however you may have the incorrect thought.”
Proper: “I’ve been engaged on group, and it’s good to listen to that it’s obvious to others. We must always collaborate someday.”
3. Be Proud
For each one who claims they by no means get constructive suggestions, you could find an individual who has diminished their efforts. You probably did work onerous, and also you do deserve credit score.
Praise: “You may have the best-behaved canine in pet class. It’s clear you do your handbook homework.”
Mistaken: “I attempt, however he nonetheless gained’t cease barking on the mailman, and it drives me loopy.”
Proper: “I’ve been working so onerous, and that is far more difficult than I assumed it could be. I recognize you taking the time to inform me that.”
4. Be Engaged
Even in the event you faked your method by way of successful (like a video presentation that wouldn’t play, so that you needed to wing it), it’s nonetheless okay to come clean with your success whereas realizing there was room for enchancment.
Praise: “I’d by no means have been capable of deal with a video meltdown like that. You probably did an outstanding job ad-libbing!”
Mistaken: “I actually virtually peed my pants, and I nonetheless assume I’d vomit. I’m simply glad it’s over.”
Proper: “Thanks! That was a detailed name, however my performing lessons paid off.”
5. Be Humble
Not everybody shuns candy phrases. Some individuals count on or encourage them. In case you fall into this class, there’s nothing incorrect with being pleased with your work. You simply don’t need to rub individuals’s faces in it.
Praise: “You’re the highest-grossing salesperson once more! I’m so envious, however nice work. You’re an inspiration!”
Mistaken: “I do know, proper? I’m killing it proper now. I additionally misplaced 10 kilos and acquired invited to dinner with the company crew. I’m actually the king of this fortress.”
Proper: “You guys encourage me to maintain excelling and provide stiff competitors. I actually recognize your sort phrases.”
6. Be Succinct
A praise can open the floodgates of feelings, and all of a sudden a pleasant phrase in passing turns right into a remedy session on the copier. Don’t over-explain your self or go on a tangent.
Praise: “I appreciated the best way you dealt with that battle. You have been honest however didn’t take sides. Good job.”
Mistaken: “OMG. These individuals have been CRAZY to cope with. First, it began when Bonnie informed Sarah she was being lazy, after which Sarah known as me and stated……….”
Proper: “It’s good of you to say that. Our crew is stronger due to everybody working towards an answer.”
7. Be A part of a Staff
As we touched on earlier, you need to give reward the place it’s due for successful that entails a number of individuals. Those that are vulnerable to dismiss compliments might find yourself passing off all of the credit score to others.
Praise: “Congratulations on profitable the crew competitors. You’re a fierce chief and deserved the win.”
Mistaken: “I didn’t actually do something. Bob did the tech stuff, and Tina took care of the artistic. Wendy made cookies. I simply sat again and watched it occur.”
Proper: “We actually hustled as a crew. I’ll make sure you move that alongside to Bob, Tina, and Wendy. They every introduced a novel facet.”
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8. Be Focused On Just One Compliment
When one compliment comes in, we can become ravenous for more. Don’t let that desire take over, especially if it’s something you don’t interact with that much.
Compliment: “You are the best volunteer we had at that event. Keep up the good work.”
Wrong: “Thank you. Did you like the place cards? What about the emcee? Should I have been more focused on the people or the process?”
Right: “Thank you. I really want to keep the moment. This work soothes my soul. Could we meet for coffee sometime to do a debrief? I have some follow-up questions, and I’d love your experienced feedback.”
9. Don’t Assume Your Loved Ones Must Love All You Do
Our parents and friends might love us unconditionally, but they don’t always love everything we do. Don’t dismiss parents expressing pride or friends bragging about you.
Compliment: “You looked stunning in your new dress. That color works wonderfully with your skin tone.”
Wrong: “You’d think orange with neon green trash bags would look good on me.”
Right: “Your praise means so much to me. Thanks for always being supportive.”
10. Be Succinct
When it doubt, follow the Ocean’s 11 line of “Don’t use seven words when four will do.” The less you say in uncomfortable compliments, the more likely you will come out unscathed.
Compliment: “You deserve that Employee of the Month award for all you do around here.”
Wrong: “No, I don’t. How did this happen? I hate attention. My boss knows that. Ugh.”
Right: Use any of these phrases when you don’t know what to say.
- “Thank you.”
- “I appreciate that.”
- “That’s nice of you to say.”
11. Be Serious
Humor is a coping mechanism used to ease tension and avoid awkward encounters. You can be funny without using humor to deflect a nice comment.
Compliment: “Congratulations on your first marathon! You were so dedicated to training.”
Wrong: “I was just pretending the cops were chasing me like when I was a drunk underage spring breaker in Daytona!”
Right: “It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but I’m proud too. Thanks for saying that.”
12. Be Aware When You Do It Wrong
Look, you aren’t going to get it right all the time. Forgive yourself for a botched response of praise. Circle back around and start over again.
Compliment: “I love the creative space you’ve built in your cubicle. It’s so warm and cozy in an otherwise bland setting.”
Wrong: Any combination of wrong answers you might have said.
Right: “The other day, you said something really nice to me, and I was rather dismissive of it. I wanted to let you know I appreciated what you said, even if it didn’t come across that way.”
Bonus Right: “I’m not sure if it was clear the other day, but I couldn’t stop smiling the other night after you said XYZ.”
13. Be Aware of Non-Verbal Compliments
While there are many interpretations of the famous Oscar Wilde quote, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” choose to see those who follow in your footsteps as novices. After all, you had your own muses or mentors.
Compliment: You’ve been handing out business cards at professional mixers. Then you see a newer employee doing the same thing.
Wrong: “What are you doing? This is my turf! Find your own way to make connections.”
Right: “It is so good to see you here! Let me take you around and meet some people who’ve helped me grow my client list.”
What You Should Never Say When Someone Compliments You
We’ve painted an ideal world thus far where nice people say nice things to a nice person. What about backhanded compliments or etiquette errors in the gesture? You need to prepare for those too.
- DO NOT CORRECT: If someone says they like your top, don’t correct them that it’s a blouse, and then explain the difference between a top and a blouse to the fashion foreigner.
- DO NOT DISMISS: Who cares if you’re running late to Pilates or just need some “alone time”? If someone takes the time to pay a compliment, accept it without making them feel like a countdown clock is on or it’s inconvenient for you.
- DO NOT DENY: This is especially important with a new hairstyle or facial hair change because nobody will say, “Hey! You changed your hair! It makes your forehead look huge.” Even if you hate the style or fresh shave, accept the compliment and realize that someone cared enough to notice.
- DO NOT DIMINISH: You were so proud of that thrift store find for $5, so why are you telling the adoring coffee barista that it’s a piece of junk you picked up downtown?
Most of all, if you do handle it wrong, forgive yourself.
Final Thoughts
You aren’t alone if you have awkward compliment syndrome. Nearly 70% of people in a research study felt the same way.
Do you want to know the single most effective way to get better at accepting compliments? Compliment yourself often, especially when dealing with that pesky inner critic.
